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Transsexual Player Andrea Paredes Gets First Ranking, Announces herself As The World’s Saviour

Remember Andrea Paredes, the first transsexual to ever compete in a professional event since Renee Richards? This week, she will finally pick up a ranking for the first time after being awarded a wildcard into three tournaments and notching up an impressively atrocious 0-4 record in matches, 0-8 in sets and 1-48 in games in them.

Despite only participating in a handful of events over the last couple of years, interesting stories of the Chilean are slowly making their way to the internet. Most notably, an article dating back to around 2004 was published of the 37 year-old discussing the end of the world and how she has been personally recruited by God to stop it.

The tennis player calls herself to be “one of the leading thinkers of the Chilean economy”, believing herself to be sent from heaven to save the world from a “motorola-type” chip which will eventually be incrusted beneath the skin of every human being, making every human instantly trackable. She says all money will soon be electronic, ruled by a worldwide government led by the Antichrist.

Her best quotes:

“I’m one of the main Chilean thinkers of the new economy. Besides, I’m very mystical and esoteric; I’ve studied about the profecies and the Antichrist”,

“The worst part is that if anyone tries to take (the chip) out he could die, and even if you managed to do it, the police of the world will arrest you. We’ll all be forced to wear the chip”.

“Here in Chile they’re already putting it in animals. With that chip no one will be able to avoid paying taxes, because it’s a GPS system”.

“The Bible says “neither the poor nor the rich, nor slaves nor the free, no master and no serf, no one will be able to shop if they haven’t got the 666, which is the internet protocol and the chip. An evil dictatorship is going to be imposed through it.”

“The Antichrist will become the president of the European Union and will establish a worldwide goverment that would allow him to control everything, not just the economy but our souls too.”

“In 2012 Jesus Christ will come and find a world that allows everything… the world will be a field of black magic, everybody will have sex with everybody. We’ll live in an apparently happy and perfect world and that’s how the devil will get our souls and when God confronts him, the devil will answer that we belong to him because we have his mark, -the chip-.”

Lovely.

I may not be one of the leading thinkers of the UK, but as far as I know, this hasn’t yet happened and won’t ever happen. But then again, moments ago news just broke that Andy Murray has pulled out of the World Tour Finals, meaning that Janko Tipsarevic will take his place and make his debut in the event. Thus, both stranger and more sinister things have already happened.

(translation via TF)

2 Responses to Transsexual Player Andrea Paredes Gets First Ranking, Announces herself As The World’s Saviour

  1. Polikarpov November 22, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Looks like Trankovic has serious competition.

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